Hey ladies! It’s that time of year again. It’s sneaks up on us every February. The stores are full of stuff to remind us that it’s time to show your fella just how much you love him.
Yep. Super Bowl Sunday.
Just kidding. Sorta. Super Bowl Sunday IS coming and if you lived in Pittsburgh, like I do, your whole house would be living on pins and needles waiting for the big day.
But after THAT is Valentine’s Day. And while I don’t recommend saving all your love for one day a year, it’s as good a time as any to think about how you’re loving that fella of yours.
I’m guessing that we all show our love in different ways. Aside from the obvious *ahem* physical affection, some of us use words, some give gifts and some show our love with the things that we do…and maybe some do combination of all those things.
But did you ever stop to think about how your man WANTS to be loved? What makes him feel loved?
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to tell you about a book that completely changed my relationship with my husband when we were first married.
It’s called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Here’s where I’m hoping that lots of you say. “I read that book!” If you haven’t, may I be so bold as to suggest that you get yourself a copy, read it and apply it as a Valentine’s Day gift for your man. It’s less than $7 on Amazon right now, or borrow a copy from the library. I would loan you mine, but it’s so tattered and dog-eared that I can’t let it out of the house.
Edited to add: I am LOVING all of your comments about this book!
In his book, Dr. Chapman describes the 5 basic ways that people communicate love…Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Giving Gifts. We often show love to our spouses in the love language that we’re most fluent in. But if that’s not the way they need to receive love, then it doesn’t fill them up.
I hope it doesn’t sound hokey to say that this book changed my marriage. It taught me that my husband is an Acts of Service kinda guy. All that time I was spending TELLING him how much I loved him wasn’t doing it for him. Now I know that he feels loved when I set up the coffee pot before bed, so that he can have a cup of coffee when he leaves the house at the bum-crack of dawn.
There’s also a 5 Love Languages of Children but I haven’t read that one, so I can’t vouch for it.
And if you must know, my love language is Giving Gifts. Deep like a river, am I. Now go buy me a present!
Disclaimer: I am completely unqualified to give marriage advice. I just know what worked for us. When I tell people about this book, the most common question I get is “What if my husband won’t do it with me?”.
To that I say…You do your part. Don’t worry about him. Obviously, it’s best if both hubby and wifey are on the same page. But if you start loving your man the way that he needs to be loved, you’ll see a change.
Disclosure: That link to Amazon is an affiliate link. If you click on it and buy something, I will make a million dollars. Or a few pennies. Whatever.