I was so late. The morning hours had slipped through my fingers and we needed to be in the car in exactly 5 minutes. As we raced to tie shoes, zip backpacks and brush teeth, I could feel the tension rising from my stomach, up through my chest and into my shoulders. You’ve been there, right?
I was was barking orders like “Hurry up!” and “Let’s GO!” when I heard my youngest son call from the bathroom…
“Mooooommy! I need you!”
I skidded into the bathroom and confronted what I can only describe as an unholy mess. I won’t disgust you with the details. Let’s just say it involved a 4-year old, bowel movements and an un-healthy dose of “I can do it MYSELF”. Got the picture?
When I saw the destruction, the thoughts in my mind went something like this… “OHMYGOSH! AREYOUKIDDINGME? WHATWEREYOUTHINKING? POOOOOOOP! IDON’THAVETIMEFORTHIS!”
I wanted to explode! Are you feeling me here?
But the preceding days had been filled with thoughts of grace. It had seriously been a non-stop barrage of conversations, lessons and readings about grace. I couldn’t pretend like thoughts of undeserved love weren’t at the front of my mind. In that moment, I resolved to deal with this disgusting situation in love – without yelling or sighing, scolding or shaming. Not my normal reaction, I assure you.
I scooped up my precious, filthy child, and plopped him into the tub where I washed him clean. All the while, this dear child was blissfully unaware of his disgusting condition. He was simply thrilled to be getting a bath in the middle of the morning. He splashed and giggled while I scrubbed and shampooed. There was no regret and no “I’m sowwy, mommy.”
So my irritation level increased. How could this child not see the mess he made? How could he not see the love I was pouring over him? Where was his remorse? I needed remorse! Then I could easily offer grace.
I barely held it together long enough to clean up the mess and get us out of the house. Late again.
But as the day wore on, God began working on my heart and the conviction came. Grace offered through clenched-teeth, with a raging heart, is not grace at all. Of course it would be easy to give grace if my child were receiving it gratefully. But perhaps that’s part of the point?
And I began to wonder – Am I really so different from my filthy child? How often do I spin through my world utterly clueless to the messes that I’m making? How often does my loving God faithfully clean up after me? How often does He love me with a pure heart while I’m still covered in filth?
How often am I blissfully unaware as He showers me with grace unseen?
photo: apdk
{ 109 comments }
So beautiful, Kimba.
xoxo
Kimba, this is really really nice. Thank you for writing it. Sometimes I watch myself be a bear in the mornings and I want to be sweet and loving and full of grace, but I don’t. Or I do, but just today… tomorrow its back to barking out orders.
I am going to remember this tomorrow morning.
Angie
Wow, that was so beautifully said. That’s something that is going to stick with me today. Thank you so much for posting that.
Kaylie´s last blog ..Halloween Festivities
Oh, I love this and so needed to read this this morning. I am thinking f how I was soo not filled with grace yesterday when I was dealing with my kids and their messy bedrooms. This really gives me something to think about this morning…a reminder this mama can ALWAYS use. thanks for sharing!
Amy´s last blog ..Four Part 2
Beautiful! & Such a convicting reminder!
Thanks for a great post.
Kimba…I needed to read this today.
Andrea {smiles}
I couldn’t help but think these thoughts as I read, Our Lord and Saviour is waiting and willing to clean us up, we just have to ask like the 4 yr. old, I need HELP!
Such a thought provoking post and a reminder!
What a beautiful post. We all need to be reminded of the Grace that has kept us from actually knowing the truth of the mess we are in. God is amazing in the way He sends these little reminders to us.
So very true Kimba. What a beautiful reminder of how the Lord lavishes His love on us even when we utter no apologies. Praying for you…
I needed to hear this today. Thank you!
And may you have a grace-filled, poop-free day!
I needed that today. Thank you!
Rhonda´s last blog ..Halloween Decorating!
Thank you for that. It was beautiful and a great reminder.
Melanie´s last blog ..My Favorite Room
Wow, what a blessing to stop by here this morning, I resolved yesterday while in church, after a sermon about RUTS of life, to get out of mine; the one where I bark through the mornings and feel like ‘yuck’ after the children are gone for not showing love —GRACE to them as I am shown minute to minute by my Lord. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Nicole´s last blog ..Home
Those moments – when everything seems to be going wrong and you’re late and you’re irritated – are the times when it is by far the most difficult to be gracious.
I was really moved by your post. It’s beautiful.
Lesley @ TheDesignFile´s last blog ..My 2010 Holiday Gift Guide makes its debut
I sometimes think that mornings like this are taking years off our life! The stress of getting out the door is just too much some days.
But I think we need to feel this tension, live in this sate of anxiety so that we can feel the beauty and serenity of the grace you felt, and the goodness of the life that is in front of us.
If we didn’t get messy, we wouldn’t feel the joy of being washed clean.
Lovely post.
This post popped into my Google Reader this morning and reminded me how God gives us just what we need when we most need it. I have been the recipient of such grace in my life…and am ashamed at how rarely I seem to give it back. Thank you for the reality check!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I need a reminder of this all the time (I have a three year old:). GOD IS SO GOOD!
This was exactly what i needed this morning….Thank You.
Jaclyn HIcks´s last blog ..Strength in His Embrace
grace through clenched teeth….hmmmm, that’s convicting. this is good stuff. thank you.
sara @ it’s good to be queen´s last blog ..about today-
grace… clenched teeth… visions of me on so many mornings and afternoons and moments in between. Grace oh how I need HIS grace to help me become more grace giving and loosen those teeth! Thank you Kimba for sharing your heart this morning. It challenged me to seek my Father and keep trying to become more like him even if I mess up over and over again in the process. His grace is so abundant, wow am I thankful!
Thanks for sharing this post. It has given me alot to think about. What perspective to see how we make messes and need grace, and so often we are saying “I’m sorry, Lord” .
Beautifully said!
Been there, done that. Thanks for the reminder – I needed it!
Mornings are so tough for moms with young kids. I feel the most stressed, the most angry, and the least graceful. Thank you for allowing God to work on your heart so that you could share with us.
Convicting words today!
Beautiful Story Kimba, how easily do we all lose this perspective on our lives.
Sam´s last blog ..Our New Phase is Selling Fast!
You brought tears to my eyes. Grace … patience … filth … cleanliness … our children teach us these over and over again. Such a perfect example of God’s love. His lessons are before us. Thanks for the reminder. Your grace, your love, your search is beautiful. Thanks for sharing it with us.
May we get through our days as gracefully as you. What a wonderful thing to read today.
What a sweet, and true post! Loved it, thanks for the merciful reminder!
Oh, Kimba. This reminds me of that favorite post you and I talked about once. Clap your snotty hands, right?
Your insight is wonderful, and you’ve written a clarion call to grace; I appreciate it very much. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Bless you as you continue to learn and grow. You’re a jewel!
Richella at Imparting Grace´s last blog ..All Saints Day
Thanks for the reminder.
Lori´s last blog ..Projects
Thanks for those words! What a beautiful picture of the Gospel. It’s so easy to get caught up in our hurries and forget how much we need His love each day…thanks for reminding me today
Alana´s last blog ..happy halloween
I don’t consider myself a religios person. Even so, I found this to be a very powerful post. I frequently lose my patience with my children and forget to let go of the stress, anger, etc. It’s silly to hold a grudge against you children. For them to learn forgiveness and love, they need to live with it.
Thank you.
I’ve been “chewing” on this all day, especially as I deal with my own children. Thank you! We have such a gracious God.
Thans so much for sharing this! What a beautiful reminder of His grace. I pray every day that I may be more grace-filled. I definitely needed this post today! (Even if it did come at your stinky expense.
)
Sturgmom´s last blog ..Everything would have worked out if it werent for those meddling kids
love this. It is way too easy to forget that we need grace as much (if not more) then the person we struggle with giving grace to. PREACH IT MAMA!
Thank you for another perspective on grace today. Is it wrong to say that I feel like I have been hit over the head with the importance of grace lately? The Lord keeps showing me how very vital grace is and also how important words are. Even the words we think are not such a big deal. Thankfully He deals graciously with me as I continue to grow in grace! Be blessed today!
So beautiful and true! I am a filthy mess most of the time and Jesus still joyfully scoops me up and puts me in the bath tub! Why is it so hard for me to do the same to others? It’s a part of my filthy mess!
April´s last blog ..Mondays Cup of Creativity- Beaded Baby Spoons
Very sweet and touching post.
One of my most favorite posts you have ever written.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart!
You are such a blessing to everyone who reads it.
Bless you!!!
beautiful post! thanks for the reminder.
andi´s last blog ..Happy Halloween!
thank you
I need God’s grace given with love so much
Lovely, Kimba, this made me tear up. …Although I may be able to up you one: I found my toddler in a mess. But she also had it in her mouth. Previously I had always said “as long as it’s a day when A doesn’t eat her own poop it’s a good day.”
Now I have to find another phrase.
Melissa D´s last blog ..Working- working- working
Beautifully put. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt the exact same way. You want so badly to do what is right, but it is so hard. The forces all around you are pulling you to just snap or make the wrong decision. Thanks for the reminder.
Kimba, thank you so much for posting this. While I don’t have children to clean up after yet, I still mess up my own life plenty and to have this reminder that no matter what I do God is there to help me through it just gives me this feeling of taking in a deep breath and letting it go.
Oh girl, this goes down deep. I know the offering grace through clenched teeth–wish I didn’t.
Tracey´s last blog ..A Blogger After Gods Own Heart
Thanks for being transparent and sharing this. Such a great reminder to offer the grace that we’ve been given by our Savior…to others.
Such a beautiful and timely post, Kimba. Me thinks that you taking a bloggy breaks is good for you and, as a result, me!
P.S. YOU MATTER!
Point taken! Thank you for the beautiful way you remind us all of reality and how we should behave!
Penny´s last blog ..A Night Out!
I haven’t been by here in quite a while but am so glad I did today, as this is a great and very timely post. Thank you for sharing.
Mrs. Trixi´s last blog ..Longing for the simplier days to come
Beautiful post. May we all be blessed with such grace. Good to see you back– I’ve missed your posts!
The Lovely One´s last blog ..Lets get the party started!
Kimba, thank you for this post. I can relate 100%. How that conviction comes and how amazing God’s precious grace is.
xoxo
Myra @ My Blessed Life´s last blog ..Sunday Meditations- Finding My Way Back To Square One
Kimba….this is so good. So, so good.
Very Ann Voskampish
Kat´s last blog ..First post and a definition of reflection
Ummmm. Not my last blog post. That is not my blog! Ooops
What a B E A -tiful heartfelt reflection, Kimba. Thank you so much for sharing it!
~h
Thank you…as I sit here with tear filled eyes thinking of myself this way on so many occasions I cringe. Since having my children I see my relationship with God so differently. This morning I needed these words!
Beautifully written, heartfelt sharing.
What a beautiful story, and awesome reminder today!
jackie´s last blog ..What tomorrow holds- and where is your hope
Ouch! I was just ranting about the mess my kids made at breakfast, and as I was cleaning my dd, she pointed to the index card I put on the fridge and asked Mommy what does that say? Then, I had to tell her what it said: Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
So I calmed a little but I was still frustrated. Then, I sat down with my computer and here I am…Hmmm…I think maybe God’s trying to tell me something….
Thanks
Kimba
My heart was pricked at what you wrote. I have been in that situation so many times and yet never thought of the lesson that it lends itself to – our Heavenly Father is SO patient with us, even though we mess up over and over again.
Thanks so much for your last two posts. I can tell the Lord has been speaking to you. Thanks for sharing.
Made me cry, in a good way. Thanks for letting God use you to convict my heart in the places that I fall so far short. You are always such a blessing to me!!!
Thanks….I SOOOO needed that post!
Thanks. This was a beautiful and convicting post. Grace is what truly makes a home a soft place to land.
Rachel´s last blog ..Momentary Troubles- Eternal Reward
Yet another reminder of what I learned at Relevant. I love you, girl.
Heathahlee´s last blog ..My Soul is Full!
What a beautiful story. Thank goodness God shows us grace and love no matter how big our mess is!
Melissa´s last blog ..Welcome! Come on in!
Glory Be His Name!… I sit here with tears rolling down my face…your words could ring no truer. The details would be much to long but I learned the hard way about Grace…as with your story mine was a morning going off course by the will of my children (especially my pre-teen daughter)…followed by a slammed car door as I dropped her at school…to me ending up in a Trauma Center 4 hours away for over a month…I had said “I love you” to her as she left the car but my irritation trying to leave the house had angered her to the point of “I’ll fix you with silence”…that sweet girl carried her guilt for two months before I was well enough for her to unload it…It was gone from me but her precious soul had clung to it…Yes GRACE is a beautiful thing and we all could use a bit more!
Ouch! It seems I have learned the most about grace as a parent than ever before. Thanks for sharing. I can SO identify as I’m sure all momma’s can!
One day I was so enraged with my son for destroying something that I decided I was going to go in his room and take every last thing out except for the bed and sheets. Then the conviction set in. What if God took everything away from me for messing up. Ouch!
Hope you have a wonderful week!
What a perfect picture of grace. Grace just isn’t grace if it is deserved at all.
Hi Kimba, just happened to drop by tonight and read your post. Touched my heart.
What a powerful and beautiful message. Thank you so much for the reminder.
With older kids, it’s more the evening time that’s difficult for me. After a long day of work and while trying to make dinner, working on homework with surly teens is one of the hardest things for me. I often do it with clenched teeth, just seething at how unappreciative they are of my help. (As if anyone would be appreciative of being forced to do homework!!) I will remember this post when I am ready to pull out my hair, especially the part where you write, “Grace offered through clenched-teeth with a raging heart is not grace at all.”
So true. Thank you again.
Exceptional. Beautiful insight. Grace is undeserved……
God bless you Kimba.
Fiona’s Mosaic´s last blog ..Squirrel Wars-Part Two
Amen. THank you for such a post. This was a blessing to read.
Kimba: Thank you for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes. It’s always a good thing when we ‘get it’, and can apply biblical lessons to our everyday lives, failings and triumphs. This is such a smelly, sweet picture of Gods amazing grace. Oh, how I love it, and HIM!
Thanks again
Susi
susi´s last blog ..Lovely Autumn
thanks so much for posting this. I too have those moments. More than I would like to omit. It is nice to one hear other moms feeling the same way but also that God used it as a lesson in your life and now in mine. Thanks so much. Have a blessed day.
Hi Kimba,
I have four year old twins and this post hit me over the head like a frying pan would.
Thank you for reminding me to teach with grace.
-Shannon in Austin
What a great point you have there. I can so identify with that story. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Crystal
Kimba, thanks for being so real and honest. I’ve been there – many times. For some reason I was more challenged with learning and practicing grace when the kids were little. It was harder. I still get caught up in the vicious cycle of hormones and being tired and frustrated, but I try to extend it. I’m always amazed how my kids are SO forgiving to me! Loved this post. Love you!
Sandy @ Reluctant Entertainer´s last blog ..Week 1- Stress-Free Thanksgiving – Invite- Plan- and Delegate!
Oh, why does this have to be such a continual struggle? I got to bed praying and wanting to better tomorrow, only to be faced with the same ugly, graceless self in the morning. Thankfully we are a work in progress, I guess I just wish the progress came a bit more quickly in some areas! Thanks for such an encouraging post.
Angela´s last blog ..52 days until Christmas!
A friend directed me to your site. I had to laugh that I was having a 4-year-old poop fiasco yesterday myself. But your concept about grace for the gracious-less child—really spoke to me.
Jennifer@Adam’s Rib´s last blog ..Ten Thousand Years and Counting
All I can muster up to say is…WOW!…
Thanks for the gentle reminder…:-)
Hey Kimba,
What a beautiful post. He has had to clean up my messes more times than I ever want to admit! I want so much to come before Him sparkling clean and so many times I crawl to Him…….filthy. OH BUT FOR GRACE!!
Blessings sweet friend,
Cyndi
Beautiful.
ah, kimba….beautifully written.
i want to share with you a similar experience. check out my blog, i think the post it called “God speaks, even in bathrooms”- (its been a while since i’ve posted anything to my blog!)
praise God for his unending grace for us!
Hi. I commented below with a link to a similar post of mine as well. After I posted, I scrolled up to see other comments. My heart was, as you said, PIERCED when I read your bathroom account. So poignant! So true. Oh, my tears. Thank you for sharing.
thank you sarah
This post stopped me. Wow. How wonderful for you to recognize this and reflect on it so beautifully for all of us. Thank you, Kimba. You don’t know me, and I only occasionally visit your site, (not because I don’t love what I see, but because I just never got around to a routine), but through the wonders of technology, you’ve touched another human being today (many times over, no doubt). Thank you.
Love,
Michiganhome
Had to comment. Have an experience (and post) too too similar not to share. http://ourhenryhome.blogspot.com/2010/08/early-morning-ministry.html
Beautiful story. God is so cool.
What a blessing with grace!
Becky
Been there, been there, been there! Beautifully written and absolutely true! Thanks so much for sharing this. -diane
Wow! So powerful-loved this post! Thanks!
Thanks for sharing. THAT was my day today, minus the bathroom mess.
I found my heart growing more angry with each mess, each attitude and each inconvenience. Thank you for the reminder of God’s Grace and my own sinfulness.
Preach on, sister
Missy @ It’s Almost Naptime´s last blog ..God does not hate Africa
I am new to the blogging community. This is my first time on your site and I love it! You are a great writer. Thanks for posting.
Jamie´s last blog ..Sparkling Cider and Mousetraps
Wonderful post. And so true. I so appreciated…”Grace offered through clenched-teeth with a raging heart is not grace at all.”
That is such an incredibly profound insight! Thank you for sharing. I am totally going to share this with my small group now. Hope you don’t encounter any other poopy messes anytime soon ;o)
Kimba…
I have had this open on my browser for days, re-reading it, revisiting it. Each time… no words. Only a heart hushed with thanks…
For who you are.
You are a wonder.
I *see* the grace in you.
And meeting you was that — wondrous grace.
Thank you for these words… they are part of me now… I thank you a thousand times over.
Amen!
I am reading Experiencing the Cross by Blackaby right now and the sacrifice Christ made on the cross is hitting me in a fresh way. I love how God reveals himself to us through our daily lives. Thanks for sharing your heart.
That was awesome and I can totally relate.
WOW WOW WOW! Can I say, WOW. Awesome post girl!
So wonderful meeting you at Relevant!
Love you,
Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations
Beautiful……………………..ive been there:)
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace is something I have to remind myself and be reminded all the time. Its is something that I don’t think us/we will fully understand… the Grace of God!
Thanks you for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!