I guess it’s no secret that I’m attending the Blissdom Conference next week. I’m speaking on one of the panels too, but that’s not the point of this post. I may or may not fall off the stage when it’s my turn to talk. Stay tuned.
In the past couple of weeks, I’ve read countless posts and tweets from women going to Blissdom. And most of them have been talking about their fears. There are a lot of fears…that they won’t be dressed right, that they won’t know anyone, that they simply don’t belong. I know that these fears and insecurities extend far beyond the woman attending this, that or the other blogging conference.
I find this phenomena interesting not because I can’t relate, but because I can. And because these fears seem so universal. Let’s be honest here…most of us still feel like an awkward 7th grader on the inside even if we look pulled together on the outside.
There are probably a few who feel utterly confident in themselves, their purpose and their place. But those people are rare birds, indeed. The rest of us carry around a big bag of insecurity that we can either choose to succumb too or we can overcome. It’s a choice.
So I’ll be worried about all sorts of foolishness like:
- Will you realize that I’m way more interesting from behind my computer screen?
- Will you notice that I laugh too much when I’m nervous?
- Will you be shocked when I snort as I’m laughing too much?
- Will I start to sweat? Note to self: Go buy Clinical Strength Secret.
And if I’m lucky, I’ll muster up the courage to introduce myself to Amber, Megan and Audrey. And I’ll be thrilled to finally meet so many of my house-blogging friends in real life. I can’t wait to hug you all!
If you’re going, please don’t be afraid to introduce yourself and say hello! And if you’re not, then we’ll just do virtual hugs right here. {{{huuuuuugs}}}
Do you still feel like an awkward adolescent on the inside?
PS…Did I seriously use the words “succumb” and “muster” in this post?
Here’s a great post from Jen at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam that talks about the masks that we wear and the beauty that is behind the mask.
photo: Irina Sltusky
{ 44 comments }
Sweet post Kimba………I SOOO wish I was going and could meet you!!….Be sure to look for FLAT TidyMom, she WILL be at Blissdom- photo ops!…..she hopes to get one with Harry!♥ http://www.tidymom.net/2010/01/flat-tidymom-is-going-to-nashville.html
TidyMom´s last blog ..Justin Timberlake..you are THE Man! ‘Hallelujah’
I saw all of these things come out in previous years of planning for Blissdom and BlogHer. So amazing to watch the insecurities wash away for everyone once they are there! It just turns into a warm weekend of good friends! Hope to meet you!
I wish I was going too! Have fun! I love all of your creative ideas!
I think it’s common for many bloggers to be shy in real life (not EVERYONE, but a lot of us). It’s more comfortable behind the computer. Blogs afford a slice of life that screens out the bad stuff and makes us all look great. That’s why I love mine!
But it is really hard to then be that social and outgoing and live up to the persona.
It’s clear that your “real” self shines through here. You will have a great time, just be yourself!
Gina´s last blog ..Meal Plan Monday: Video How-to
Can’t wait to meet you. I will probably love you more BECAUSE you snort when you laugh.
I stopped following the #blissdom on Twitter because it was stressing me out. We all should just let it all go, be ourselves and have fun. We are all grown up enough to know that what matters most is who we are and not what we wear. Even if we laugh nervously (like I do, too!).
Amen, sister. You’re exactly right.
You will be fabulous! I can’t wait to hear how it goes.
Carmen´s last blog ..Just a Little Something Pretty
I may seem confident, but I can relate to everything you wrote…aily!
I am wondering what Beth Moore’s new boks “So Long Insecurity” will have to say about this.
Anna See´s last blog ..By a Thread
I wanna go!
Not in the budget this year….maybe next time.
heidi @ wonder woman wannabe´s last blog ..Monday Musings
I COMPLETELY understand. I am scared to death to finally meet some of my beloved blogging buddies. I’ll be very nervous, which means I’ll talk too much, then I start to feel guilty… it’s a vicious cycle. Although I’m not going to the conference, I am going up on Thursday to meet some of you. I get nervous typing about it!
I am that weird “art-freak” 7th grader. Now if I only had the confidence that my weird “art-freak” 11th grade daughter does, then I might, just might, be ok.
Gina @ The Shabby Chic Cottage´s last blog ..Lisa Leonard Designs giveaway
Oops. My link was all screwy and took you to some religious fanatics site.
Beth @ The Stories of A to Z´s last blog ..Mantel Party #3 Review
I know what you mean. I am always afraid to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, look bad or unkempt, and that just means that I’m much more likely to put my foot in my mouth out of nervousness. It does afford a little bit of comfort to know that others feel the same way, though, and that we should just give ourselves a break.
I never remember that when it counts, though!!
Mrs. Jen B´s last blog ..To-Do List Results
Hey, girl! I met you in person last year & you’re just a happy little perky thing, how could anyone not love you?? It’s all going to be fine. I used to be shy when I was younger & in high school, but I think we develop more confidence as we get older. And you get to the point where you realize that not everyone is going to love you & that’s OK too. There are plenty who do and it will be fun for all of us decor bloggers to meet up. Fun, exciting, and a little scary too, but I can’t wait! I think the hardest part is going to be connecting one on one with those 500 people there. It will be impossible, so we have to really make a point to meet those we’d especially like to connect with.
I’m not going to Blissdom, but I can relate to what you’ve written here. Part of what keeps me from even suggesting to myself that I attend is the part of me that tells me I totally don’t belong.
I’m sure you will all have a fabulous time, though! Can’t wait to hear all about it!
Sturgmom´s last blog ..Egg-Free baking, I will beat you yet!
Hey Kimba…doesn’t everyone snort when they laugh?
Have a wonderful time!
Sarah´s last blog ..YYYYYAAAAYYYYY….
Ha! I’m totally going to attack you with a big fat hug.
It came up earlier to me that I really am still afraid of being picked last to be on a kickball team.
Conferences can totally give me the kickball jitters, but I promise that I would pick you for my kickball team even if you happen to duck and scream every time the ball comes your way (like I do.)
1. BOTH of your shoes are fabulous.
2. I don’t get to go to Blissdom, but I struggle with the same problems.
3. Susie Harris mentioned Beth Moore’s new book on insecurity…I’ll be first in line to buy it when it comes out.
Amanda @ Serenity Now´s last blog ..The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Kimba, here’s a great, big, huge virtual hug from me *huuuuuuuugs!*!!!
From your fellow snorts-while-she-laughs sista,
Stacey
Stacey @ The Blessed Nest´s last blog ..The Winter Garden
I am a 46-year-old 7th grader. A slow learner.
I do wish I were going to Blissdom, but since I’d miss my husband’s birthday if I were there, I’m glad I’m not going. Sort of. Mixed emotions.
Funny that we would think that our carefully worded, carefully photographed selves are more appealing than our real-life, unedited selves. But we’re always happy to get to meet other people in the flesh, and we find their three-dimensional selves to be delightful! Amazing how the Enemy uses that insecurity tool to attack so many of us.
Just for the record, you’re charming on-screen and off.
Probably not the point of the post, but…
I was at a wedding this weekend and that Secret Clinical does really work!!
Wish I could be there. If I were going I would be just like everyone else I’m reading about. Insecure. Not sure of myself. (I laugh when I’m nervous which is most of the time. I get it from my Mama. AND I snort sometimes, too. Makes everything come to a stand still…) Just wanted to share that I was reading the new HomeLife magazine this morning. There’s an article about Beth Moore and the topic is insecurities. Timely, huh? Apparently she has a new book called “So Long, Insecurties: You’ve Been a Bad Friend To Us”. I think I’m going to read that one. Have fun at Blissdom.
Southern Gal´s last blog ..Saturday Adventure
Regarding insecurity, I had a short text conversation last night with a friend about what to wear to a baby shower we were both attending. It seems like the more put together I manage to get, the more I worry that I will look like I am trying too hard or not enough. And it isn’t just me, my friend was insecure, and my roommates and I have times where we have to compare notes before getting ready to leave the house. Is there a way to stop it? I would love to know if there is!
yes, inside i am still a dorky 12 year old. i am glad to know there are other fabulous women who feel the same way. i am sure a man could never relate
amy
I may have to make you laugh just so I can hear you snort
.
I totally understand what you’re saying. The whole “getting out of your comfort zone and meeting all kinds of people for the first time” thing can be very unnerving. I’m trying to focus on just being excited and being myself (now that I know what to wear). I think I’d be more nervous except that I have no idea what to expect. I’m still in shock I’m actually going! It will probably hit me next week when I’m packing next week and saying “What on earth am I doing?!”.
Can’t wait to see you!
AnNicole@OurSuburbanCottage´s last blog ..Sentimental Value –What to Keep & What to Let Go Of
First of all, you are going to do GREAT. And you know you have a huge fan section cheering you on!
Secondly, when we focus so much on insecurities we’re really thinking way too much about ourselves. That’s always a good “check” for me. Oh yah, feeling insecure? Change direction, eyes off of myself! Think about what really matters in this world!
Can’t wait to hear your laughs and get some hugs and have just have FUN together, Kimba! Love you, GF!
sandy´s last blog ..Intentional Family Time: Can you say No?
Good words, Kimba. It is encouraging to hear this from gals that seem to have it all together! Have fun at Blissdom and good luck on your speaking engagement! I wanna go! Maybe next year…need to start saving now.
Southern Fried Gal´s last blog ..Southern Fried Sundays
I sweat when I’m nervous. A lot. One time I sweat straight through a sweater when the boy that sat behind me and for whom I harbored a huge crush was showing me particular interest that day. So much interest that he grabbed me under my arms to tickle me. And I swear I “squooshed.”
Yeah, he never did ask me out. Wonder why.
When I get self-conscious at blog conferences, I pretend to be thoroughly interested in whatever happens to be in front of me, so as to play the “I’m really fine with not talking to anyone right now” role.
So yeah, when you see me showing vast amounts of interest in a group of forks, please come up and talk to me at BlissDom. Sometimes we all forget that we should make the first move. (pointing at myself)
Megan {Velveteen Mind}´s last blog ..Compassion Fatigue: Playing the Victim Card for Good
Excellent post. It addresses so much of what most of us are thinking.
I’m excited to have an opportunity to meet you in person. I’ll be the nervous chick with the quad belly leftovers! =)
QuatroMama´s last blog ..Work From Home
We’re all dorks.
Well said.
sprittibee´s last blog ..You Probably Think This Blog is About Blissdom
Kimba,
I’m trying not to take it to an unhealthy level though. Right now I’m just excited about all the fun I will have! My sister is going with me and it will be a much need break. It’s been a tough few months.
I am going to the Blissdom conference, and I do hope I get to at least say “hi” to you real quickly (even though you don’t know who I am). I know everyone is going to want to meet you, so I may have to wait in line.
I feel a little bit of the “blissdom” pressure too. I wonder about what to wear, or what kind of cute accessories everyone will have, ie: computer bags, notebooks, shoes.
I would love for you to stop by my blog if you have time. Today I posted about my Cottage Guest House.
If I don’t get to meet you, I pray that you have a blessed, worry-free time!
Traci
Hi Kimba!
I posted about this same subject a few days ago. I think what we fear the most is rejection. We want to belong..feel a part of the group. When you put yourself out there you risk these fears and miss a lot. I am so glad that I went to Blissdom last year and met all of you. I learned some wonderful things about blogging but mostly I learned about myself.
I will miss all of you next week and cant wait to hear all of the fun stories and hope to see pleanty of pictures. Have fun and leave all of those worries at home…((hugs)) Susie
I so wish that I was going to Blissdom. Maybe next year. I would love to meet you, snort and all.
Kara´s last blog ..Baby Rag Quilt Tutorial
Speaking from many years of experience…you are WAY COOLER in person…and I love that you snort when you laugh…and I love it more that you will polish off a bag of potato chips with me without blinking an eye…and that you’re still friends with me even though I consider a scrunchie a legitimate bracelet and was wearing Birks WAY before they were considered hip…you are my friend, and I love you…and anyone who gets to meet you and befriend you is a LUCKY girl
nuff said….now go knock ‘em dead at Blissdom! (but make sure you don’t trip on your way up to the panel in those new red pumps…cause I won’t be there to laugh
P.S. “succumb” and “muster”…AP English served you well!
I do, I do!!!
Muthering Heights´s last blog ..In Morning
I echo Richella. I love you on-screen and off. {I only wished the Nester’s swapmeet had gone on longer so I could have shaken my nervousness long enough to really chat it up.} It appears you have a bevy of 7th-grade readers. : )
The Scooper´s last blog ..Making Do {A Series}: Rug Rehab
Oh my. I’m worried about what to wear, worried about what to say, or not say, and terrified of meeting people who write WAY better than me. Yeah. That about sums it up. I’m a nervous wreck, yet excited at the same time. Lord help me.
I will be there listening to every thing you say with BOTH ears and a heart full of admiration. See you next week!
Kimm at REINVENTED´s last blog ..Love In A Cereal Box
I went to a big geek convention this past weekend and knew not a soul there. It was awkward are first but I notice if I just kept smiling and talking to people, it felt less awkward. I met so many wonderful people and had such a fantastic time. I don’t think I would have had either if I let my fears keep me from putting myself out there. Ya you might crash and burn but man oh man, you might soar too
Amanda´s last blog ..Visioncon Artists – Alain Viesca
I just read Megan’s comment and had a “doh” moment, because I totally do that! I will be completely enthralled with action across the room, and that will be your sign to come and hug my neck. Can’t wait.
To Think Is To Create´s last blog ..Our Walk
Very thought provoking post. I was such a fearful child growing up that I never spoke. I would sing and play my piano and write, but I hid behind doors even in my home and simply watched my family. I never felt I could speak or say anything worthwhile. Fast forward 40 years and I’m sure my children wonders if my stories of being painfully afraid of anything and everything and not talking are really true. I’m so thankful that I learned to give all those unfounded fears to God. I pray that all of you younger women allow Him to free you of fear and fill you with so much love that you run to your Blissdom conference with great excitement and expectations, with openness of heard and mind. And with thankfulness and gratefulness that you are alive and God has put you on this Earth for a divine plan and purpose. Don’t wait to be 50-something to become fearless. Be fearless and filled with perfect love now!
~ en Agape,
Victoria in Texas
My apologies for all the typos in my comment. My eyes are blurry tonight from strain. But yhopefully ou get my gist!
I will be the one in the Kimba flower pin, if anyone is looking for me?
Seriously, almost all of the ladies you have listed up here are amazing and beautiful and down to earth. They are treasures to me.
My goal- to hug Nester who I thought was way cooler than me and I could barely make eye contact
I won’t let this year pass me by and I will be all Amy this year 
Amy´s last blog ..Boosting Energy by Tackling Life’s Nagging To-Do List
I loved this post Kimba. I have so many fear and hangups — probably why blogging is perfect for me. I have some things coming up where I have to step outside my comfort zone — and I mean way outside. It is so hard. And it’s so refreshing to hear that you have fears and insecurities too. It really helped me so much to read this.
Love your blog — wish I could be at Blissdom to meet you.
XOXO
Jen
jenjen´s last blog ..Sweatshirt Refashion: Project #2
good luck and have fun at the conference – it sounds like a blast!
yes, I still feel like a kid inside. when i try something new in my wardrobe – a new pair of shoes, chunky jewelry, a fun scarf- i always feel like i must look like a kid playing dress up and everyone will know that I’m a fraud!
even though i’m not going to the conference, i have the same fears you listed in your bullet points. as an artist whose work is out there in the virtual world and in the local real world, I’ve had the occasions to meet people who “know” me but whom I’ve never met. I even had to go to a gallery showing of my work once, where there was a ‘meet the artist’ event and i was like “who me?!” why would anyone want to meet me?! It helps that we have a confidence, an assurance, a true identity of who we are in Christ. I don’t know how people do it who don’t know His love.
Jill´s last blog ..One World One Heart GIVEAWAY!!!!