I have a confession to make. I don’t bake cookies with my kids. It makes me crazy.
I have a Norman Rockwell vision of the process where we all sing carols, giggle and end up with a bit of flour on our noses…just enough for adorable pictures, of course.
The reality is not so pretty with all the whining, crying and pitching of fits. Mostly by me. For some reason, all the measuring and stirring just makes me crazy…when there are kids involved. It brings out the perfectionist in me.
So this year, I’m not doing it. I’m waiting till one of my friends decides to have a cookie decorating party for all the kids. There’s always one (dear) nut who does it. Then we’ll go wreck up her kitchen.
The most I’m willing to do are the slice and bake Christmas cookies. Frankly, the kids think those are just swell. They beg me for the colorful rolls of cookie dough with the Christmas trees and angels. This year, we got the BIG package from Sam’s Club. They’re going to name me Mom of the Year..
If I get the urge to bake (which is rare) I wait till the kids go to bed. Instead we:
- Make paper chains – Way less messy
- Play Candy Land AGAIN – Way less sugar actually ingested
- Watch Rudolph in our jammies (at 3 in the afternoon)
- Take bubble baths with Christmas carols on (them, not me) – I got this idea from MomAdvice.com. The kids love it!
Now you go. What makes you crazy? I give you permission to not do it. And I’m completely prepared to hear from the horrified “You Don’t Bake with Your Kids?” crowd. Go ahead. I can take it.
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I have had this post from Gina at Not So Random Stuff bookmarked for weeks. It’s called Holiday Decorating and Being Content with What You Have.
I cheered out-loud when I read it. And I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to incorporate a link to it in one of my own posts. The perfect time isn’t coming, so I’m linking today.
Thanks for hitting the nail on the head, Gina. You rock.
{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }
hi kimba – merry christmas!
do you ever go to gfs? i think they have a couple of stores in your area. they have ready to bake cookies in christmas shapes. 72 to a box & they are wonderful. it eliminates one big step in cookie baking. and you can decorate them, or not! (that’s the way i’m baking sugar cookies this year.) and by the time you buy flour, sugar & eggs, you’ve spent as much as they cost (& i forget what they do cost) but well worth it.
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Kimba Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 9:35 am
I’d never heard of GFS before but we have one right nearby! Guess where I’m going later today?
Thanks!
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Yes!!! Someone else out there that would rather have a root canal than bake with their kids. It truly brings out the worst in me. I’m all over that slice and bake idea!
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Thanks so much Kimba, I’m still constantly reminding myself of that post! And I’m so glad I’m not the only nutty mom who doesn’t bake with her kids. I feel the same way you do-so we choose to do other things instead. I figure we can bake (one on one) at other more relaxing times of the year! And mommy gets less crazy, an uncrazy mom is a good mom in my book!
I’ll have to go check out the Christmas carols in the bath!
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I bake, but generally I bake alone. I could skip it, but the family wants it. The whole commercialism of Christmas makes me insane. The pressure, the rushing, the whole smack you in the face of the holiday is what makes me crazy. I am determined to find a way where it’s not so hurried and pressured and chaotic. Perhaps next year.
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Good for you! Every year I do a little bit less. Christmas isn’t about cookies and presents and decorating and STUFF anyway
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I bake becasue I love to bake. It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is I am always baking something. My children do help but only one at a time. I can’t take any more than that. We have a rotating schedule and they always remember who’s turn it is. There are some things where we can all work together but at those times I always wish I had a bigger kitchen, with an island so they can all be on the other side.
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*I* love to bake! My kids love to help me! I’m sort of a control freak. So yeah, it doesn’t go together that well. But my kids enjoy it so much. So last year, I finally just “let it go” and let them help me decorate the cookies without freaking out about all the sprinkles and frosting every where. So I totally understand where you’re coming from.
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LOL – LOVE THIS.
There are lots of things which bring out the perfectionist in me… and often they involve “fun” things I’m attempting to do with my kidlets. It’s not as fun anymore when Mom is grouchy and yelling.
I think they’d prefer Rudolf in their jammies, too.
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Ha! I don’t blame you one bit. I was a stepmother to 3 boys. I had dreams of all the holiday traditions with them. But about the only tradition was them annoying each other, me yelling, and then they finally went to their mother’s to visit.
Now I have a wonderful 2 yr old grandson and am peacefully, joyfully enjoying baking, painting, etc. (but I give him BACK to his mother)
It really hit me when we carved pumpkins @ Halloween and my son (grandson’s Dad) didn’t know what to do. We had never carved pumpkins.
I can’t imagine trying to bake when my boys were small. And besides, there are plenty of people who bake. What you do is sensational. Thank you.
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If you’re looking for some fun, no-bake cookies, try these reindeer cookies. Here’s a link: http://caffeineandaprayer.com/2008/12/16/reindeer-cookies-and-edible-wreaths/
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I don’t normally bake with my kids for the same reason as you. They argue and end up getting me so frustrated that I kick them out of the kitchen. If I’m able to have one kid at a time in there it isn’t as bad.
I’m going to do that bubble bath and Christmas carols thing!
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Here here!!! I detest baking with my kids. I love doing other things with them, but baking isn’t one of them. Thanks for admitting it out loud.
teri
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I don’t have anything to add, but did want to say I’m no baker. I rely on my friend Pillsbury. Best cookies I ever made!
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Thanks for relieving a little of that guilt for me. I have the same Norman Rockwell scene in my mind. It’s all those paintings and commercials. We don’t even like sugar cookies very much and so the mess and stress of making them REALLY isn’t worth it but for some reason I still have guilt!
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GIRLS!!!! You all rock!!!
Is it totally dorky that I actually have tears in my eyes? I’m not alone!!!!
And some of you have given me great ideas! One kid at a time. DUH! That’s brilliant and it never occurred to me. I’m kinda slow.
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My mantra has also been to do less, and appreciate more. Because in the end what do you really remember about Christmas as a child?
When I was little we had the old fashioned albums and turntable. Every year, shortly after Thanksgiving my dad would go over to the gold wire album holder and dig through our collection until he found his treasure: A white album cover with a single image of Bing Crosby in a santa hat. He would loudly proclaim, “It is not Christmas, until Bing sings its Christmas.” White Christmas always was the very first thing we heard. It was then safe to go pick out a tree, wrap the gifts and begin the baking. This is the second year that I have smiled through my misty eyes and looked up to heaven to say “Dad, turn up the volume so you can hear up there.” then I turn to my kids, grab my CD with a lone image of Bing in a santa hat and proclaim, “It’s not Christmas, until Bing sings its Christmas.”
Be merry.
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I don’t bake with my kids either. It drives me crazy and I also do the break in bake cookies and that works pretty well for them. I try and sneak and make cookies when their either sleep or gone. Merry Christmas!
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Ha! Thanks for the validation! This year I’m giving up things to do too — just don’t have the time or energy and don’t want the added stress. My child is an adult now, but she’s still asking when we’re baking this year…not gonna’ happen.
)
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Been there, done that….the kids were eating the dough before any cookies were baked and then they whined b/c there weren’t enough actual cookies. So after that I baked alone. Now the kids are grown and all we do are the break apart ones, Everyone’s happy, even hubby!!
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I also don’t like to bake with my kids. Then my oldest turned 12 and she wanted to make cookies so I gave her the recipe and walked out the kitchen. She was happy and I was happy. I have three girls and they all want to help in the kitchen. Drives me crazy. But now that the two older ones can do more on their own, I let them make something once in a while. My youngest insists on helping and while I don’t like it it also makes me smile because she is so sweet yet so insisting. She will put her hand on my hand just so it feel like she is cutting the carrots or whatever. But, we are crafting maniacs and they make stuff all the time. So we do other things too just like the rest of you.
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Hi! A HUGE thank you for this post! I too cannot stand to bake those messy Christmas cookies. I have done it (out of guilt) the last few years and it exhausted me physically and mentally. Trying to fit baking in with shopping, wrapping, card-writing, decorating, etc…just makes me more stressed than I need or deserve this time of year. It is a relief to know that there are other busy moms out there who wont be baking with their kids this Christmas! Thanks for being ‘real’ and not being one of those Betty Crocker type of moms who feel they have to do it all (and post about it) to feel like the “perfect” mother! You rock!
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I’m not much of a baker (having a diabetic husband takes some incentive out of it!) and baking with my kids has always made me crazy. I leave that to the paternal grandmother, who really enjoys it.
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You’re so funny – believe me, you’re not the only one pitching fits. I’m right there with you. When my kids were younger – I hated trying to do cookies all together. This year I might give it a whirl but mine are now 12 & 9 so…..it makes a difference (I hope).
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Yeah for all the moms who don’t enjoy the kids in the kitchen! I always felt bad about my unwillingness to do all the fancy baking and decorating and very often bought a cookie tray or slice and bake. Several years ago I decided to enjoy Christmas and go with the “less is more” mantra. I got rid of lots of decorations and stuck to classics such as garlands and bows. It takes no time to set up and is beautiful. Last year I got rid of the big tree because no one would help me with it and I found it exhausting. This year I set up a 4 foot tree, it took about 20 minutes to decorate and is just as gorgeous as the big one but with much less work. It’s sad we put so many unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Girlsfriends, give yourself permission to cut back and acutally enjoy your family.
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Kimba Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Preach it, sister! Less is more!
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I love it! I don’t bake cookies with my kids either. It is way to messy and I am enough of a controll freak it has no joy in it. We slice and bake cookies. What we love to do is dance to Christmas music or any music blaring in the house. They take candle lit bubble baths. (I am in there and the candles are out of reach.) But the lighting calms them down for bed. We sing Karoke together. (How ever that is spelled.) Mine are 7, 5 and 2. All very active and bossy. I loved relating with your post. We also watch lots of Christmas shows together drinking hot chocolate. I think finding what you and your kids enjoy doing together is all that matters. I am glad to find your blog.
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Okay, seriously, the paper chain made me CRAZY this year. The kids are just about 4 and 5 but ack! I now have glue all over my wood floors that I need to figure out how to remove. The floors are over 50 yrs old and seriously need to be refinished. Seriously as in the protective coating is gone. Cleaning them is near non existant right now but hey, it was better than the blue carpet that was here when we bought the place last year.
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Kimba Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
We used staples for our paper chains this year. My oldest is 6 and he thought that using that little mini stapler was just about the coolest thing ever.
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Thank you so much for letting all of us “other” moms know that we are not alone. I was just discussing this very topic with my mom this morning. It really makes me nuts to bake with my kids, even though I really want to like it. My mom never liked baking with me or my brother, either…perhaps it’s genetic. Either way, this post has made me feel like less of a bad mom.
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HA! I also bookmarked that SAME post from Gina and linked it from my blog post today as well!
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P.S. I am hosting my very first linky party next week (Wed) about Family Christmas traditions, would love for you to link up…come vist me today and read all about it! Thanks
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Gingerbread houses. They make me insane. I haven’t done one in years. I have 5 kids now and I think the last attempt at one was when I only had 2 kids! It made me feel like a bad mom. I hated it. Like torture, I tell you! I’m also not much of a baker and am not a fan of baking with my kids . . . I leave that to the grandma’s!!
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Thank you for being so honest. Everyone I know bakes with their kids, I thought I was the only one who didn’t. It makes us all crazy, not just me! My mother is arriving next week with giant plans to bake gingerbread cookies with my 3 crazy kiddos, so I plan to stay out of the way.
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I am NOT a huge fan of baking cookies with my kids. I want them to look pretty, is that a crime? Anyway, during my 7 hour bake-a-thon yesterday I had a GENIUS idea: I gave the kids cookie cutters and rolled out some extra pie crust. They were pretty happy going to town with that. They actually thought they were making the cookies (which I dusted with cinn sugar and let them eat later) and I was able to get my cookies, candy and other such confections done with perfection!
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Thank you for giving me permission NOT to bake with them! How ridiculous that a grown woman AND MOTHER OF FOUR needed a stranger’s permission! It only makes me evil. And yet I try several times a year. Yep, we are going to (maybe) do slice and bake and actually enjoy ourselves. Or we might just let our other less messy and less anger-inciting memory-makers be enough this year. THANK YOU!!!!!
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I love to bake. That said, I don’t really bake with my kids during the holidays. It also brings out the perfectionist in me and since I usually bake for gifts for certain people.. well I really don’t want one of my 4 year old’s curly hairs in the cookies, or want to give out crookedly cut out cookies for that matter.
I let them bake with me the rest of the year. When I’m not as stressed.
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I can do ANY cookies but cut-out cookies DO drive me crazy…it’s just the mess and the long long process…by the time i roll out the dough i’m done….but then there’s the frosting and the sprinkles and on and on…i’m beginning to have less and less energy for it!
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OH I am SO glad to hear that my mom isn’t the only one. I always took it personally because I thought it was just we were bad bakers! Now I get it! You explained it to me so well. I’m 30 and I still make her nervous. I guess because I’m still messy.
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So….I am the crazy lady who is having everyones kids over for a cookie making party at my house. My kitchen will look like it did a few days ago(check out my blog pictures) except rather than foam peanuts it will be flour.
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I’m not a fan of baking cookies period. Not with or without the girls. Something about the stirring and time it takes. No patience for it.
Your alternative suggestions are fun ideas!
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HI Kimba, Great post, GF. I gave up baking w/kids a long time ago. Things just change as they get older. And I am thankful for that. I’ve learned to let go of expectations and embrace what the “family” wants to do. Teens are great! You’re right behind me! XO
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This year, decorating the tree is making me crazy. My three-year-old wants to help so badly, and all of his ornaments end up in one spot, on a bottom branch that inevitably droops to the floor. And as quickly as I can hang ornaments, my 15-month-old is pulling off the ones that she can reach. And in the meantime, my husband is in the next room, quietly snickering as I keep repeating, “How about putting one on the other side?” and “No, no!” Hopefully we finish by Christmas Eve.
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I too have the same vision of a sweet family baking time while music plays and we all giggle and have a good time. Normally what happens is they all cry because they all want to stand in the same spot or one person had one more turn than another at adding an ingredient or something like that. I get fed up, kick them all out and finish is myself. I’m glad I’m not alone. I love the idea of the purchased cookies in holiday shapes to decorate yourself!
Now I just tell my oldest to go and make them herself, she is much happier this way.
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I don’t “bake” with my kids either. I make the sugar cookies and icing while they are in school. Then I put out the number of cookies that each can decorate, sprinkles, and icing (only white), and let them have at it. Way less to clean up and they feel like they DID bake with me!
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Thank you. Thank you. I just needed to hear another mom say this. It also makes me C.R.A.Z.Y! I don’t bake alone, much less with them
Merry Christmas!
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Hi Kimba,
Love this post! I have decorated less this Christmas and it has been a nice breather.
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Seriously, you are SO not alone!
I’m planning to have my kids “bake” with me, but only really plan on that lasting for a tiny bit. Either because they’re going nuts, or I am! Truthfully, I’m not even planning to bake some of my cookies I’ll be serving this year. I’ll be pulling them straight out of the package and plopping them on a serving plate. As stress-free as it gets! LOL!!! We also decided that since we’re leaving town the day after Christmas we aren’t going to make a big Christmas dinner or even Christmas Eve dinner. I think leftover turkey made into a casserole or hearty soup will be about as fancy as we get this year.
You know what though? In the grand scheme of things, none of it really matters….whether my kids help bake the cookies, or whether we put out tons of decorations, whether we get the “it” present of the year, or whether we have a fancy Christmas turkey or ham dinner….what matters is spending time with those we love, remembering & celebrating the birth of the Greatest Gift of all! I need to remind myself of this often!
This was an awesome post, Thanks!
Blessings,
Stacey
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I hear you! I was starting to feel guilty that we hadn’t done it yet. We did a gingerbread house (from a kit) which I had to mostly build myself and I was just about ready to tear my hair out!! Oh my word. So yes – skip the cookie thing. I was thinking about the refridgerated dough myself. I have a box mix…but even that is starting to feel like too much work! So thanks for letting me off the hook.
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i am the nut who does cookie decorating parties with her kiddos and to be truthful it sometimes gives me anxiety attacks. i have to try REAL hard to stay calm and not get OCD. the end result is happy kids and that is why i do it.
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Oh thank HEAVEN there’s someone else willing to say this out loud!!! My boys really want to bake with me, but oh my goodness…I just have the hardest time with it.
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No baking going on in this house either. No dough for the dough. (Yeah, smack me…I went there) We gave the gift of time instead. Tons of volunteering at the school is exhausting but when you hear Carol of the Bells NAILED by 3-5th graders or help kids from underpriveledged homes buy presents for their families…well…that’s waaaaaay better than making some cookies in my book!
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I am a fourth grade teacher and this year I all but canceled our Holiday Party. I just can’t stand all the sweets and adding sugar to already crazed classroom. I am baking one treat and we will read a holiday book and that’s it. Then on Friday we are having a cleaning party. I bought enough sponges for everyone and dusting clothes etc… I may play music while we clean, but that’s it. I trust that each family will take over with the merry making and we can all do with a bit less sugar.
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Kimba,
Growing up my mom let us (her kids) make “Cathedral Cookies.” Googling Cathedral Cookies will bring up the recipe. When my boys were little they made cathedral cookies, too. The cookies are more fudgy than cookie but the kids thought they were making “cookies” as the name implies. Until reading your post, I hadn’t realized why my mom had us make these cookies. She didn’t like for her kids to make a mess either.
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It’s funny you should bring this up! I did the exact same thing this year – crossed stuff off my list, things I would not do this year because of the pressure. And one of the things I crossed off was baking cookies. Then, one lazy Sunday afternoon my 6 yr. old son says, “Let’s back cookies!” So we did. And we had the best time. No pressure. No stress. A little mess. But I guess because we were just doing it ’cause we wanted to it was so much more fun!
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Too funny!!!
Ruth
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Christmas cards! Like getting them, hate doing them, and honestly with Facebook, don’t think I will. Most of the people I send them to, that I used to only connect with once a year, I am now connected with on FB–I have seen their kids and they have seen mine. Baking–now that I love and my daughter and I have a whole day of it planned on Saturday!
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I do bake with my kids and have since they were old enough to stand on a chair and fling flour around (and it’s okay with me if you all don’t!). Having said that, my annoyance is when people tell me to not stress. I’m pretty even keel, but there are moments during the holidays when I feel harried. That’s okay! I’ll get over it! Telling me to “not stress out” only makes my blood pressure go up, because it sounds like the person saying it is being critical of me and exalting their “relaxed ways”. Please. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Now see, playing Candyland with my kids and making paper ribbons would make ME climb a tree. We each do what we like, I suppose. And that is JUST FINE.
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I can’t play video games with the kiddos..the noises drive me up a wall!
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Two sundays ago mine got sent to bed in tears when the cookie making put me over the edge. Not the cookies themselves, it was just other antics ON TOP of cookies that was just too much. My sister has a great plan – they have monthly “interviews” with dad and while one is with Dad she has the other in the kitchen helping to bake treats. For Christmas sugar cookies, she already had some baked, they just decorated them together. Just a small plate full. They got the thrill and she kept it contained. I like this plan!
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